You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make It Scuba Dive)

A struggling family man's tale with satirical wit "straight out of Catch-22 and an unsung genius who might have wandered in from A Confederacy of Dunces" (Ben East, author of Sea Never Dry).

After being fired from an ad agency after thirty years, Sam Bennett has only his awards, a case of Bulgarian whiskey, and his family. When Sam retreats home he is plagued by panic attacks, the ground feels like a trampoline, and an incident involving a pressed ham on a liquor store window leaves him reeling. So he decides to get his wife the one thing she wants more than anything else: a grandchild.

Once Sam's daughter and crazy son-in-law Mueller arrive for the summer, he realizes his plan is easier said than done. Between Mueller jumping off roofs and drinking green paint, get-rich-quick schemes, salsa classes, and pool parties with nudist neighbors, Sam is about to learn the greatest lessons in life—even if it means stealing his neighbor's pot.